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Archive for the ‘News/Pop Culture’ Category

BurkaVaderGeezerRobbers

In Media, News/Pop Culture, Uncategorized on November 15, 2010 at 11:43 pm

These three villains break the norms held by their fellow bandits.  They are- the BURKAVADERGEEZERROBBERS!

Burka

Hey, all that oppression really backfired on you huh boys? I guess she found a new reason to sport her concealing attire.

Vader

“We all new old James would lose it one day. One guy can only take so much shit from his friends about his Star Wars collection.”

Geezer

The most dangerous senior citizen in the world.

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Poppy Flowers

In News/Pop Culture on August 23, 2010 at 12:04 pm

What an ugly painting. However, all unsightliness taken into consideration, it’s an original Van Gogh, and is valued at 50 million dollars.

It’s also currently missing.

Earlier yesterday, Egypt’s prime minister, Farouk Hosni said the canvas had been retrieved when an Italian couple had been arrested at Cairo Airport.

Unfortunately he was wrong, claiming he had been given “inaccurate information.”

The painting was cut from its frame in the museum last Saturday. This seems like a rudimentary, and slightly dissatisfying way to steal a valuable painting.

What seems odd to me is that the museum only reported ten visitors the day the painting was stolen.

What a lame museum.

This painting has an interesting past; it was stolen before in 1978. A decade later, it was found hidden in Kuwait.

I hope it never gets recovered again. I figure if a picture cant be beautiful, it should at least have a mysterious story about it. Instead of being known as “that ugly flower painting” it would become “the lost Van Gogh” that was never retrieved.

Jason Peyton Loves Jennifer Aniston More Than You

In Media, News/Pop Culture on August 9, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Jennifer’s latest stalker, is 24 year old Jason Peyton, who resides with his father in Pennsylvania, and believes he is in a relationship with the actress.

He was arrested on July 15th, and contrary to popular belief, was never lurking in, on, or around her house as he was too blind with perverted admiration to ask a Hollywood tour guide where to find it. However, he was carrying a sharp object, a roll of duct tape, and hand written notes about Jennifer when his stalking was thwarted and he was taken into custody.

Why the knives and duct tape Jason?

“Ok Jennifer here’s what I kind of had planned for tonight, first, Ill duct tape you to the passenger seat of my car- which, as you can see, I have taken the liberty of carving ‘I love Jennifer Aniston’ into- Then as I repeatedly stab you with this sharp object I brought along, I can read you all the poetry I wrote about you!”

And to all of you reading this who might think Jason is a nonviolent person that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, you should probably know that he struck his mom in the face with a golf club… and had a past habit of stabbing himself.

Under the new terms of Jennifers restraining order, Peyton must stay 100 yards from her home, cars and associates. If I was the one being stalked, that amount of distance would not put my mind at ease. 30o feet is still pretty damn close!

Antoine Dodson Has a Reason to be Angry

In News/Pop Culture on August 1, 2010 at 9:47 pm

If you haven’t heard of Antoine Dodson yet you probably don’t spend a lot of time on youtube. Here is the link.

Antoine is probably not a genius. Actually, I would be surprised if his IQ surpassed the double digit range, nevertheless he gets my respect for protecting his family.

Something else besides Antoine stuck out to me when I watched this video.

When the “rapist” climbed through Kelly Dodson’s (Antoine’s sisters) window, he didn’t try and silence the girl or physically hit her. He just sort of cuddled next to her until she woke up and found him laying there, staring at her and breathing on her face like an over-eager dog in the morning waiting to be fed. It was then that she started yelling, causing Antoine to rush in and save the day.

This rapist is screwed. First off, he left his shirt in the Dodson’s house. This was a huge mistake, and as Antoine puts it he’s “really dumb for real”. As dull-witted as that sounds, its true. DNA is all over that thing.

Also this video is not helping to keep the rapist under the radar.

In one day, it got 2 million youtube views. And I didn’t even mention the shirts that were created like the one you see above. This kind of press is bringing the situation to the public eye, and the police force is going to be pressed to make a discovery as soon as possible.