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Archive for the ‘Media’ Category

BurkaVaderGeezerRobbers

In Media, News/Pop Culture, Uncategorized on November 15, 2010 at 11:43 pm

These three villains break the norms held by their fellow bandits.  They are- the BURKAVADERGEEZERROBBERS!

Burka

Hey, all that oppression really backfired on you huh boys? I guess she found a new reason to sport her concealing attire.

Vader

“We all new old James would lose it one day. One guy can only take so much shit from his friends about his Star Wars collection.”

Geezer

The most dangerous senior citizen in the world.

Jason Peyton Loves Jennifer Aniston More Than You

In Media, News/Pop Culture on August 9, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Jennifer’s latest stalker, is 24 year old Jason Peyton, who resides with his father in Pennsylvania, and believes he is in a relationship with the actress.

He was arrested on July 15th, and contrary to popular belief, was never lurking in, on, or around her house as he was too blind with perverted admiration to ask a Hollywood tour guide where to find it. However, he was carrying a sharp object, a roll of duct tape, and hand written notes about Jennifer when his stalking was thwarted and he was taken into custody.

Why the knives and duct tape Jason?

“Ok Jennifer here’s what I kind of had planned for tonight, first, Ill duct tape you to the passenger seat of my car- which, as you can see, I have taken the liberty of carving ‘I love Jennifer Aniston’ into- Then as I repeatedly stab you with this sharp object I brought along, I can read you all the poetry I wrote about you!”

And to all of you reading this who might think Jason is a nonviolent person that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, you should probably know that he struck his mom in the face with a golf club… and had a past habit of stabbing himself.

Under the new terms of Jennifers restraining order, Peyton must stay 100 yards from her home, cars and associates. If I was the one being stalked, that amount of distance would not put my mind at ease. 30o feet is still pretty damn close!

Michael Scott, How Will The Office Go On With Out You?

In Media on August 2, 2010 at 11:29 pm

Yes Michael, we feel your frustration.

Last Month, Steve Carell announced his departure from NBC’s hit TV show “The Office.”

This is not something I’m not ready to accept. How can the Office go on without Michael? The real question is, are they even going to try?

No other character delivers the laughs like Michael, the lovably daft boss of Scranton’s branch of Dunder Mifflin, who in any given episode is likely to be be racially insensitive (Stanley), sexist (Pam), mean (Toby), and inappropriate (everyone) .

Now that Michael is leaving, there are rumors of the current season being its last. NBC fears many viewers will lose interest in the show if Michael is gone. Their fears are valid. I for one, believe that the Office will never be the same without Steve Carell.

Over the years, I have come to love Michael Scott’s infamous quotes. Who ever writes Steve’s script is a comic genius.

I have compiled a list of my favorite “Michael-isms”, as I call them.

“Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.”

“It’s not like booze ever killed anyone.”

“I’m like Superman and the people who work here are like the citizens of Gotham City.”

“I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?”

“Now, a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million. And that’s true, but it’s also not true. Because, frankly, there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world.”

“In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don’t know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I’ll know for sure.”

“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.”

“Today I am headed over to the job fair at Valleyview high school to find some new interns. Time to get some fresh blood and euthanize this place.”

E3

In Media, Photography on July 28, 2010 at 4:47 pm

 

Kanye the Pharaoh

In Media on July 25, 2010 at 2:10 am

If I could think of one man who would spend 30,000 dollars on a stupid, ugly necklace representing the Egyptian god Horace- it would be Kanye West. LOOK AT THIS THING, it doesn’t even look cool, at ALL. Plus, to my knowledge, Kanye isn’t even Egyptian.

But its the black entertainment television awards.

ohhhhhhhhhhh…

Seriously though, you think that he would have cooled his act down a little bit since it was his first televised appearance since that infamous/amazing night at the MVA’s when he stormed the stage in a drunken stupor and stole Taylor’s glory.

Nope.

Maybe a few close friends even warned Kanye about wasting his money on this monstrosity, but then again,

YOU CANT TELL HIM NOTHIN’