PASTA

Hepatitis A

In Local on August 18, 2010 at 12:31 am

This is the pool at my tennis club south end. Looks nice right? Wrong.

Two days ago I was lounging in the sun, ordering a sandwich and sipping on Perrier.

While reading a book, I got hot from the sun and decided to go for a dip.

After swimming for a few minutes, I toweled myself off, and once again became submersed in my novel.

Pretty soon I noticed that the pool was being evacuated.

Fearing the worst, I asked the lifeguard why.

“Well, there is something in the pool, and we don’t really know what it is…”

“Something” must have been code for “piece of shit,” because that was precisely what was lurking at the bottom of the deep end.

At first we all thought it was a nut.

It could have innocently fallen off one of the trees you see pictured, and sunk to the pools depths.

Alas, it was not.

This was confirmed when Jorge, the pool net extraordinaire, fished the little nugget out of the infested water. Yep, it was a chunk of human feces, ripe with all kind of disease that no amount of chlorination could ever keep a body safe from.

I hate my tennis club now, and I hate the people who run it.

You may wonder why, since this whole situation was not their fault.

Well, most clubs faced by this dilemma would spend the time and money draining their pool, thus assuring the safety and well being of their guests.

However I guess the financial obligations of draining the pool precede the safety and well being of the guests, because it was back in action the next day.

Oh yeah, lets let people swim in a pool that contained a piece of human fecal matter without telling them.

This makes me wonder, how many other one-day-after-poo-in-in-the-pool-days have I gone swimming at my club?

Thanks guys, I’m really looking forward to some Hepatitis A.

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  1. Dave I love your blog! I read the whole thing… I LOVED the one about Antoine Dodson. Don’t ever stop, you’re a really good writer. I hope to see more when you’re in college!

    • Thanks for the kind words! I will continue the blog as long as I don’t get hit in the head hard enough to render myself retarded.

  2. If I hadn’t thrown a fit to have that “nut” fished out, it would still be there! Skanky!

  3. Are you sure it wasn’t the old “baby Ruth” trick?

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