PASTA

Jason Peyton Loves Jennifer Aniston More Than You

In Media, News/Pop Culture on August 9, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Jennifer’s latest stalker, is 24 year old Jason Peyton, who resides with his father in Pennsylvania, and believes he is in a relationship with the actress.

He was arrested on July 15th, and contrary to popular belief, was never lurking in, on, or around her house as he was too blind with perverted admiration to ask a Hollywood tour guide where to find it. However, he was carrying a sharp object, a roll of duct tape, and hand written notes about Jennifer when his stalking was thwarted and he was taken into custody.

Why the knives and duct tape Jason?

“Ok Jennifer here’s what I kind of had planned for tonight, first, Ill duct tape you to the passenger seat of my car- which, as you can see, I have taken the liberty of carving ‘I love Jennifer Aniston’ into- Then as I repeatedly stab you with this sharp object I brought along, I can read you all the poetry I wrote about you!”

And to all of you reading this who might think Jason is a nonviolent person that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, you should probably know that he struck his mom in the face with a golf club… and had a past habit of stabbing himself.

Under the new terms of Jennifers restraining order, Peyton must stay 100 yards from her home, cars and associates. If I was the one being stalked, that amount of distance would not put my mind at ease. 30o feet is still pretty damn close!

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  1. Jennifer Aniston is really great and she’s so strong I really think she’s just such an inspiration to all.

    • Oh yes, being a celebrity takes so much courage! I couldn’t imagine living a life like hers. Millions of dollars, and access to anything she wants! Tough…

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