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Archive for August, 2010|Monthly archive page

Sea Grass

In College on August 31, 2010 at 2:13 pm

The sea grass is everywhere I look. Its in my sheets, in my hair, in my clothes, and in my bed. It clings to my body, and works its way into my wetsuit when I surf in front of my dorm.

I hate it.

Not only does it greatly inhibit my water surface speed when I surf, It is also a terribly aggravating bed partner.

Speaking of my bed, it has slowly deteriorated from a soft, inviting study alternative, to a small coastal ecosystem. Its quite possible that I’m not the only living thing that inhabits it (on most nights ha).

Despite all of these (overstated) complaints, I really do love college, and know that I’m lucky to be here. I also do feel the need to mention the upside of sea grass. It is so abundant on the ocean floor that im pretty much surfing over a carpet.

Occasionally, I have had the unfortunate experience of being driven into the ocean floor by large surf (maybe if I were a better surfer this would happen less frequently). If I get lucky when this happens, I will miss a few rocks and hit a patch of sand, however, on the sunset cliffs (the spots directly in front of my dorm) the sand ends at the water line. After paddling out, only rocks lay beneath the water surface. Luckily for me, they are completely veiled by an impermeable layer of sea grass.

On a separate note, the reason I haven’t been quite as diligent in my blogging ways has a lot to do (everything to do) with my drastic change in free time. My priorities go something like this:

Surfing>skating>photography>rugby>music>combing my mustache>school>blogging

 

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Poppy Flowers

In News/Pop Culture on August 23, 2010 at 12:04 pm

What an ugly painting. However, all unsightliness taken into consideration, it’s an original Van Gogh, and is valued at 50 million dollars.

It’s also currently missing.

Earlier yesterday, Egypt’s prime minister, Farouk Hosni said the canvas had been retrieved when an Italian couple had been arrested at Cairo Airport.

Unfortunately he was wrong, claiming he had been given “inaccurate information.”

The painting was cut from its frame in the museum last Saturday. This seems like a rudimentary, and slightly dissatisfying way to steal a valuable painting.

What seems odd to me is that the museum only reported ten visitors the day the painting was stolen.

What a lame museum.

This painting has an interesting past; it was stolen before in 1978. A decade later, it was found hidden in Kuwait.

I hope it never gets recovered again. I figure if a picture cant be beautiful, it should at least have a mysterious story about it. Instead of being known as “that ugly flower painting” it would become “the lost Van Gogh” that was never retrieved.

Paper Planes Radio Edit

In Uncategorized on August 18, 2010 at 9:08 pm

Stupid media. They ruined the best part of MIA’s hit “Paper Planes.”

Today, as I listened to the radio I found that the gun shots shots heard in the “all I wana’ do” part of the song have been replaced by various “audience safe” noises. Even the sound of the gun being loaded has been censored.

I don’t have a lot to say about it, it just pisses me off.

Hepatitis A

In Local on August 18, 2010 at 12:31 am

This is the pool at my tennis club south end. Looks nice right? Wrong.

Two days ago I was lounging in the sun, ordering a sandwich and sipping on Perrier.

While reading a book, I got hot from the sun and decided to go for a dip.

After swimming for a few minutes, I toweled myself off, and once again became submersed in my novel.

Pretty soon I noticed that the pool was being evacuated.

Fearing the worst, I asked the lifeguard why.

“Well, there is something in the pool, and we don’t really know what it is…”

“Something” must have been code for “piece of shit,” because that was precisely what was lurking at the bottom of the deep end.

At first we all thought it was a nut.

It could have innocently fallen off one of the trees you see pictured, and sunk to the pools depths.

Alas, it was not.

This was confirmed when Jorge, the pool net extraordinaire, fished the little nugget out of the infested water. Yep, it was a chunk of human feces, ripe with all kind of disease that no amount of chlorination could ever keep a body safe from.

I hate my tennis club now, and I hate the people who run it.

You may wonder why, since this whole situation was not their fault.

Well, most clubs faced by this dilemma would spend the time and money draining their pool, thus assuring the safety and well being of their guests.

However I guess the financial obligations of draining the pool precede the safety and well being of the guests, because it was back in action the next day.

Oh yeah, lets let people swim in a pool that contained a piece of human fecal matter without telling them.

This makes me wonder, how many other one-day-after-poo-in-in-the-pool-days have I gone swimming at my club?

Thanks guys, I’m really looking forward to some Hepatitis A.

Some Good Ones

In Photography on August 13, 2010 at 7:01 pm

A photography post is overdue, here are some of my favorites that you might not have seen yet. The caption for each photo lies below it, not above it. Basically I’m just trying to inform you that this is not a caption. Its not even really an introduction… what am I doing?

The word “slang” is the first think that comes to mind when I see this picture. No, I’m not talking about the noun that describes an informal type of speech, even though the word “slang” is slang for sell, does that make sense? Who cares… I want some crack cocaine. Wait what?

Excessinsecur? No, I’m not out to portray an emotion through some artistic approach. If this picture “means something to you” then that’s great, but I just think it looks cool.

This parking garage smelled like fish and hobo urine.

Behold Daewon Song, not only does he rip (named skateboarder of the year by Thrasher magazine), he is one of the nicest people I have ever met from skateboarding.

Channel street. Nuf said.

early bird

In Uncategorized on August 10, 2010 at 9:06 pm

No capitol letters in the title, a nice simple font, and a sparrow with its head burrowed deep into the ground- no doubt searching for the worm it woke up so early for. This is what drew my eye to this novel. I have only read the first chapter so far, but am already captivated my it.

The protagonist, and author of the novel, Rodney Rothman, gets tired of his day job and decides to move into a retirement home in Florida. He is 28.

Rodthman used to be a head writer for David Letterman, so his writing is pretty hilarious.

Jason Peyton Loves Jennifer Aniston More Than You

In Media, News/Pop Culture on August 9, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Jennifer’s latest stalker, is 24 year old Jason Peyton, who resides with his father in Pennsylvania, and believes he is in a relationship with the actress.

He was arrested on July 15th, and contrary to popular belief, was never lurking in, on, or around her house as he was too blind with perverted admiration to ask a Hollywood tour guide where to find it. However, he was carrying a sharp object, a roll of duct tape, and hand written notes about Jennifer when his stalking was thwarted and he was taken into custody.

Why the knives and duct tape Jason?

“Ok Jennifer here’s what I kind of had planned for tonight, first, Ill duct tape you to the passenger seat of my car- which, as you can see, I have taken the liberty of carving ‘I love Jennifer Aniston’ into- Then as I repeatedly stab you with this sharp object I brought along, I can read you all the poetry I wrote about you!”

And to all of you reading this who might think Jason is a nonviolent person that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, you should probably know that he struck his mom in the face with a golf club… and had a past habit of stabbing himself.

Under the new terms of Jennifers restraining order, Peyton must stay 100 yards from her home, cars and associates. If I was the one being stalked, that amount of distance would not put my mind at ease. 30o feet is still pretty damn close!

Michael Scott, How Will The Office Go On With Out You?

In Media on August 2, 2010 at 11:29 pm

Yes Michael, we feel your frustration.

Last Month, Steve Carell announced his departure from NBC’s hit TV show “The Office.”

This is not something I’m not ready to accept. How can the Office go on without Michael? The real question is, are they even going to try?

No other character delivers the laughs like Michael, the lovably daft boss of Scranton’s branch of Dunder Mifflin, who in any given episode is likely to be be racially insensitive (Stanley), sexist (Pam), mean (Toby), and inappropriate (everyone) .

Now that Michael is leaving, there are rumors of the current season being its last. NBC fears many viewers will lose interest in the show if Michael is gone. Their fears are valid. I for one, believe that the Office will never be the same without Steve Carell.

Over the years, I have come to love Michael Scott’s infamous quotes. Who ever writes Steve’s script is a comic genius.

I have compiled a list of my favorite “Michael-isms”, as I call them.

“Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.”

“It’s not like booze ever killed anyone.”

“I’m like Superman and the people who work here are like the citizens of Gotham City.”

“I call everybody faggy. Why would anyone find that offensive?”

“Now, a lot of people say that Kelly is one in a million. And that’s true, but it’s also not true. Because, frankly, there are literally billions of people just like Kelly in the world.”

“In my opinion the third date is traditionally the one where you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don’t know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I’ll know for sure.”

“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.”

“Today I am headed over to the job fair at Valleyview high school to find some new interns. Time to get some fresh blood and euthanize this place.”

Antoine Dodson Has a Reason to be Angry

In News/Pop Culture on August 1, 2010 at 9:47 pm

If you haven’t heard of Antoine Dodson yet you probably don’t spend a lot of time on youtube. Here is the link.

Antoine is probably not a genius. Actually, I would be surprised if his IQ surpassed the double digit range, nevertheless he gets my respect for protecting his family.

Something else besides Antoine stuck out to me when I watched this video.

When the “rapist” climbed through Kelly Dodson’s (Antoine’s sisters) window, he didn’t try and silence the girl or physically hit her. He just sort of cuddled next to her until she woke up and found him laying there, staring at her and breathing on her face like an over-eager dog in the morning waiting to be fed. It was then that she started yelling, causing Antoine to rush in and save the day.

This rapist is screwed. First off, he left his shirt in the Dodson’s house. This was a huge mistake, and as Antoine puts it he’s “really dumb for real”. As dull-witted as that sounds, its true. DNA is all over that thing.

Also this video is not helping to keep the rapist under the radar.

In one day, it got 2 million youtube views. And I didn’t even mention the shirts that were created like the one you see above. This kind of press is bringing the situation to the public eye, and the police force is going to be pressed to make a discovery as soon as possible.

Maurice

In Local, Photography on August 1, 2010 at 5:17 am

 

He fixes my surfboards.

Call him at 310 615-1008 or 310 702-0040 if you need a board fixed and you live in LA.